Quantcast
Channel: Peace Through Douche – Shaking our fists at Redwing Blackbirds since March 2009
Viewing all articles
Browse latest Browse all 126

Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder

$
0
0

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.
carbirdshit

As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.
MAIL on counter

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table, Put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, And notice that the can is full.
car keys

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first…

But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.
checkbook

I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Pepsi I’d been drinking.
pepsi-330ml

I’m going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Pepsi aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over.

The Pepsi is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye–they need water.
vase of flowers

I put the Pepsi on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers.
glasses

I set the glasses back down on the counter , fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.
tv remote

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I’ll be looking for the remote, but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I’ll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
down the hall

At the end of the day:
The car isn’t washed,
The bills aren’t paid,
There is a warm can of Pepsi sitting on the counter,
The flowers don’t have enough water,
There is still only 1 check in my check book,
I can’t find the remote,
I can’t find my glasses,
And I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day,
And I’m really tired.
I'm so tired

I realize this is a serious problem,
And I’ll try to get some help for it, but first I’ll check my e-mail, and the Hostages….


Filed under: asshole, BANGLAR After Action Report!, but not the good kind, cat blogging, FUCK SALT!!!, fucking genius, Peace Through Douche, Your Mom Tagged: really stupid shit

Viewing all articles
Browse latest Browse all 126

Trending Articles